(After a late night trip to the emergency room on the way home from Atlantic City, due to a bee sting): "My night is summed up in two cups.  One is from Starbucks and one's from the ER."

This was coming home from our cousin, Jimmie Rivera's, last fight before being signed to UFC.  Tomorrow night he is fighting his third bout with them!  This seemed timely.  I should add that before his last fight, I sliced my finger open with a bread knife and wound up in the ER for stitches afterwards....so there seems to be a trend with us winding up with emergency visits that coincide with these events.  I think we will both be extra careful tomorrow!

Overheard...

...at work in NYC (where there were heat advisories and unusually heavy Friday commuter traffic): "It's not the heat it's the humanity."

(In reference to writing a question for a test:) "There's a difference between 'fair' and 'fuck that'."

"The soundtrack to punching shit: Survivor."

Guest Stupidity

"The couple that steals babies together, stays together."

Guest Stupidity

"Careful, last time I did that someone lost a side mirror."

Guest Stupidity

"This is what you do when someone starts throwing fireballs: giggle uncontrollably."

"Tesla is like the bacon of scientists."

(After a co-worker refused to sing along to Frozen:) "Leslie wants to build a snowman, unlike SOME people."

Guest Stupidity

"Bippity boppity bo-yah."

Guest Stupidity

"Remember when celebrities wore clothes?"

(Talking about candle scents, it was decided that my stripper name should be "Pineapple Flame.") "Pineapple Flame.  Finally, a stripper name that means something to you but also communicates that you'll take it in the ass if you get enough money."

Guest Stupidity

(After I texted with perceived plot holes while watching Frozen for the first time): "DON'T OVERTHINK DISNEY MAGIC"

Guest Stupidity

(Regarding the NY Mets): "They have a great talent for snatching defeat from the jaws of victory."

"It's all about the thin veneer of maturity.  Put that on my tombstone after I die doing something stupid."

(After testing some clearance wine sold in a glorified juice box): "This gives boxed wine a bad name, and that's saying something."

Guest Stupidity

(To MPH, regarding the saga of a squirrel trapped in his father's basement): "Be honest, you enjoyed using the ninja training a little bit."

Guest Stupidity

(Regarding symbiosis): "Like, you're not parasites, but you're both parasites."

Guest Stupidity

"You know me, I always vote for the devil you know (and have complicated emotional history with)."

Guest Stupidity

"It's a good thing paper isn't claustrophobic."