(Heading into a Chinese restaurant, after sitting in the car for long enough to get to the refrain on a popular Indian song and doing a proper bit of in-seat dancing along:) "I'm an honorary Desi.  I have instant access to trains in the event of an impromptu music video.  ...that might be the greatest sentence I've ever said in my life."

(Cooking an apple mixture for dessert:) "I just made the universe.  It's in my pan."

Guest Stupidity

"Gay men horde horrible things."  Our designer, referring to the masses of vintage 70s garments borrowed (or from his own collection) for our next show.

"I wish my life was a sitcom. I bet it would be highly rated.  ...I appeal to many demographics, let's be honest.  Moms love me."

"I do lasers, not common sense."

(Talking about magnets:) "Damn you parallel electron spins!"

"I make awkward into an art form."