"Hey hon...I just got a reply from The Satellite of Love..."
(He tweeted to the MST3K guys...and got replies!  From Mike and Bill (aka Crow).)

"We've got plants in the backyard, plants on the bar, plants on the windowsill, plants over here (by the sink), and we are still the least exciting grow operation in Allentown."

(After adding some forgotten chopped green onions to the top of a mushroom dish:) "Presentation!  Points! Motherfuckin' scallions and shit!"

"Dancing and flailing.  In my world, the difference is nil."

(While playing Words With Friends:) "Fuck you consonants!  You're no fun!  You think cause there's 21 of you you're better..."

(I reminded him that his iced coffee was downstairs, slowly melting from his ignorance.)  "The only thing that can keep me away from coffee is magic. (Trips)  Ow.  And the iron-gym thingie."

(Watching an old episode of Star Trek: TNG, and remarking upon Wesley Crusher's godawful orange oversized sweater:)  "Only the Bennetin...Bennetton?  That's right, cause only the Bennettint man will pass.  Bennettint...Bennettint?  The Bennettint man is fashionable before God. The Bennettint man wears awful sweater...AWFUL SWEATER!"