"That ficus has seen horrors."

Guest Stupidity

"I think my curly bangs add a certain romanticism to the situation.  Suck it, Jane Austen."

Guest Stupidity

(When a version of "Let it go" was on Pandora:) "I prefer the other version of this song: (sings) 'Fuck it all/fuck it all'."

Guest Stupidity

(Singing along:) "Have a holly jolly Christmas/or I'll punch you in the face."

Guest Stupidity

"This fabric is beautiful and makes me want to murder babies."

(About Rush Limbaugh:) "You can hear the serifs in his voice."

Guest Stupidity

"What's that line from Romeo and Juliet?  Names, roses, suck?  A rose by any other name would be a hot UPS man?"