(after I finished crocheting a last minute gift:) "Nothing says 'I love you' like a cephalopod I knitted myself."

(While watching Easy A, they get something physics-related totally wrong:) "Aw, dumb physics ruining hot woman. Makes my brain hurt and my penis sad."

I'd need to drink more to be this stupid.

"I am the fucking Half-Blood Prince of the kitchen."

The decked bitch

(regarding decorating the Christmas tree:) "Let's put on a Christmas movie and deck this bitch."

Picture of the decked bitch will be posted tomorrow!