(Watching Cosmos, after flailing excitedly:) "I hurt myself getting excited over Keppler's Second Law."

Guest Stupidity

"He could use a lesson in hubris but he's not stupid."

Guest Stupidity

"No amount of yoga will help rigor mortis."

"Hey hon...I just got a reply from The Satellite of Love..."
(He tweeted to the MST3K guys...and got replies!  From Mike and Bill (aka Crow).)

"We've got plants in the backyard, plants on the bar, plants on the windowsill, plants over here (by the sink), and we are still the least exciting grow operation in Allentown."

(After adding some forgotten chopped green onions to the top of a mushroom dish:) "Presentation!  Points! Motherfuckin' scallions and shit!"

"Dancing and flailing.  In my world, the difference is nil."

(While playing Words With Friends:) "Fuck you consonants!  You're no fun!  You think cause there's 21 of you you're better..."