(After making a pot reference in class that most of the students missed, quoting Harold and Kumar Go to White Castle:) "'What kind of Ivy League school is this?'"
(Several students, almost simultaneously:) "Not Brown."

"You can eat it, just let me throw things at it first."

(In a panicked tone:) "My pants have lapels!"

 So Blogger kind of sucks and won't embed the video, so please check it out on YouTube, here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Yp4QnAj-Yb4&feature=youtu.be&a

This is the final final lecture speech -- how MPH wraps up his Physics class.  Please share, it's pretty brilliant!  Not included: the standing ovation he got from his class.  No joke, butts were out of seats.  Those kids loved him.

Guest stupidity

"It's my goal to be a farmer with a PhD."

Guest stupidity

(Regarding how hair should be styled for a dance piece:) "You're on the couch, drinking wine, eating ice cream, and watching He's Just Not That Into You on repeat."
(Note: she was doing none of these.)

(To a Jehovah's Witness at the door:) "No thank you, we're scientists."