(Upon discovering he was running out of deoderant, and my exclaimation that I couldn't understand how he uses it up so fast:)
Me: How do you use up your deoderant so quickly?
MPH: I think it's my pit hair, not enough gets to the skin. Next time I buzz [my goatee], I think i'm gonna give my pits a fade.
Me: You know how I know you're gay?
MPH: Hey! That's not gay, that's gangster! When I raise my gun up sideways to bust a cap in someone's ass, I want them to see my fade. THAT'S gangsta.
(He tried to get me to change his actual quote to "The last think I want them to think is, 'Hey, nice pits!'")