(Upon discovering he was running out of deoderant, and my exclaimation that I couldn't understand how he uses it up so fast:)
Me: How do you use up your deoderant so quickly?
MPH: I think it's my pit hair, not enough gets to the skin.  Next time I buzz [my goatee], I think i'm gonna give my pits a fade.
Me: You know how I know you're gay?
MPH: Hey!  That's not gay, that's gangster!  When I raise my gun up sideways to bust a cap in someone's ass, I want them to see my fade.  THAT'S gangsta. 
(He tried to get me to change his actual quote to "The last think I want them to think is, 'Hey, nice pits!'")